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I just stumbled into this program, kind of like I was floating along in a stream and before I knew it, I was on this river called Masters Library and Information Science. I never said,"I want to be a librarian!" Honestly, I just wanted to accomplish something that I didn't think was possible.
I was intimidated by the GRE and graduate school, but that drive in me that makes me do things I'm scared of said it was time to overcome these obstacles and the timing and situational circumstances were right. I'm NOT getting any younger, and I've had plenty of experiences in the past five years that re-enforce the truth that our time is NOW. For all that we know, we only get this one shot, so why waste it being scared of things or experiences. Just go for it and see where it takes you. I may not end up being an honest-to-God traditional librarian, BUT I will have achieved a goal and proven to myself that, again, I can do almost anything if I put my mind and heart to it.
Emily, great post, but then all of yours are. I admire your sincerity. Before starting this program I was so sure that I wanted to be a librarian, but I was really naive about what all is involved. Even now, after reality hit, I still fantasize about being a traditional librarian. I understand now that even if I end up with what I want, an unglamorous position in a local public library, I will most likely be pushed into management. Been there, done that - do not want that, may not have a choice
ReplyDeleteMoreover, this program has really been a struggle. I doubt myself on a regular basis, and I am so busy every minute of every day, that it is emotionally and physically exhausting. I am doing quite well academically, but I really work too hard for it, probably too hard than necessary. I am either studying or feel guilty about not studying. Sorry. Need to be writing a paper, but just wanted to reply to your self-reflection with my own.
See now, I wish I had 1/10th of your enthusiasm, passion, and brilliance! I understand dealing with self-doubt, but so often it's irrelevant and a time/energy waster. You've got it together a lot more than you give yourself credit for.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to the future- here's to landing where we land!